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Speaker 1
Podcasting from Sacramento, California, The Big Tomato. This is the Iron Mine Coach Show, a weekly podcast about peak performers and the secrets they use to create success in business and their personal lives. Here, interviews with special guests, top performers from around the world. And now here's your host, coach, author and Iron Mind performance expert Rich Green.
00;00;34;28 - 00;01;02;04
Speaker 2
Hey. Hey. Ready for another version of the Iron Coach Show? I'm excited today because I have a really cool guest, a neat lady. She's got a really, I think, a unique story, the story of overcoming struggles of confidence. Of breaking through cultural norms. Real talk. All about that stuff. I just want to introduce Michelle Nader. Michelle, welcome to the show.
00;01;02;26 - 00;01;16;16
Speaker 3
Thank you so much. I'm so excited to be here on your Iron Coach show. I've never participated in Iron Coach physically, but I do have a lifestyle that would fit the iron code, I think, which is probably why I'm here. What do you think?
00;01;16;20 - 00;01;41;19
Speaker 2
I think so as well. That is why you're here. And no, you don't have to be an Iron Man to be on the show. But you do have to have an Iron mind. And I know that you're one of those people. And so we want to delve into that. And I just want to remind you, as I do all of my guests at the end of the show, I'm going to ask you what your code is, the code that drives you, the code that helps you overcome hurdles and all kinds of things that get in your way in life.
00;01;42;13 - 00;01;49;03
Speaker 2
And so we're going to you know, I hope you're going to you've got a great code that you can share with the audience. I look.
00;01;49;20 - 00;01;52;28
Speaker 3
Excited. I will I get my mind spewing on that. How about that?
00;01;54;10 - 00;01;58;21
Speaker 2
Well, Michelle Wie, when did we meet? It's been is about a couple of years now.
00;01;59;04 - 00;02;30;21
Speaker 3
Yes. Yeah. I saw you speak in September of 2019 at Matt Browning's influence event talking about the iron code. I remember you handing off a raffle of your books. Yeah. And you never connected it in person until a year ago, where I go into another event hosted by Matt and I. In my mind, I'm determined to break this man into a smile because I wanted to know more about him.
00;02;30;21 - 00;02;45;08
Speaker 3
I'd seen him virtually for a year, almost two years, and I was like, I need a break, this man, and just figure out who the heck he is. And boy, was I amazed. I was so intrigued. And the rest is history. What do you think about that story?
00;02;45;21 - 00;03;11;15
Speaker 2
I think that sounds like a pretty good story. I don't know who that is you're talking about. But anyway, I can't. You know, I knew we'd seen each other in a lot of conferences, and it rises all the way back to 2019. So and I've seen you speak a few times as well, which is, you know, why we I think, you know, we've just kind of got a connection because of the stories and because of the the fortitude and the strength and overcoming things.
00;03;11;15 - 00;03;33;04
Speaker 2
And and I'd love to hear more about that because I think your story is, you know, obviously everybody has struggles, but yours is unique because you've got this kind of this family familial, cultural sort of influence and and and a struggle that that you've dealt with in your life. And I'd love to hear about that.
00;03;33;11 - 00;04;02;27
Speaker 3
Yes, absolutely. So I love to dive in and say, you know, my parents are Indian and they had this wise idea to come to the states. My dad did, to come to the states against his will for a degree in metallurgy and engineering at Penn State. Wow. And so he marches to the airport, gets on a plane, ends up in Pennsylvania, freezing cold Pennsylvania, because in India, he came from a warm Hawaiian type climate.
00;04;03;14 - 00;04;25;01
Speaker 3
Bombay, you know, now it's called Mumbai, but formerly known as Bombay and was forced on this plane and got his education and six years of finally getting a real job that he enjoyed goes back to India to visit his parents. Well, if you are a single man in your twenties, that's like a ticket to marriage, not just a ticket to visit your parents.
00;04;25;23 - 00;04;38;00
Speaker 3
So he got married in February on Valentine's Day to my mom and said, you know, I'm just going to come back and we'll figure it out. And they had me in 88 of December.
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Speaker 2
The waiting.
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Speaker 3
And the idea was.
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Speaker 2
He stayed in India. We went back, Oh.
00;04;43;04 - 00;05;05;00
Speaker 3
I was born here. So they they came back. My mom came in March of 87. I was born in America, December of 88. And lo and behold, I'm the first girl born outside of India on my mom's side and on my dad's side. Wow. And we have like in India, you have hours, months, days, years. You name this newborn kid.
00;05;05;18 - 00;05;26;22
Speaker 3
In America, you have 48 hours outcomes. Oh, my God. Holy shit. What am I going to name this kid? And they made me out of this baby name book with a beautiful meaning means God's favorite. Like by the God. It's a French name. And most of all, keep this name until we go back to India. When we move back, we'll never have an Indian name.
00;05;27;10 - 00;05;49;19
Speaker 3
And so my first language wasn't Indian language. I learned English in school. I was my family. Immediate mom and dad were frowned upon like, Oh my God, you're raising a girl outside of India with no culture, with no values, Like, are you guys out of your mind? And next thing you know, my dad's cousins are all in the in California, and they're producing kids like there's no tomorrow.
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Speaker 3
And now we have 45 people within a five mile radius in California.
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Speaker 2
It's for family.
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Speaker 3
In my family. So talk about like trailblazing, talk about courage has been part of my life since before I was even thought of an idea of a kid. Right. Like, just having that instilled in me. And through that came a struggles of like, why do you have an American name? What's your real Indian name? So again, I went through like social identity crisis, right?
00;06;21;01 - 00;06;24;19
Speaker 3
Trying to find an Indian name to fit my personality. But it doesn't get one.
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Speaker 2
Do you? Do I don't. I don't know this. Do you have an Indian name?
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Speaker 3
I don't. I have an Indian last name, An American first name. And so now it's a brand.
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Speaker 2
Well, that's. That's truly American then, isn't it?
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Speaker 3
It is. It's a very American way of living, I think, because I always tell people I like to do things the American way. When I had the American opportunity and I do things anyway when I have the Indian opportunity. And so what I'm doing with my brand is is coaching and helping people for the right reasons, talking about their trauma, their emotion is a very American thing to do.
00;06;59;27 - 00;07;17;22
Speaker 3
I mean, hello, we invented counseling as a career. We invented coaching at the career. So might as well embrace Americans out of my name and the Americans out of my life and embrace that while keeping the Indian values of connecting with my family and having those 50 people over every other weekend.
00;07;17;22 - 00;07;28;02
Speaker 2
Michel I didn't. I don't think I knew this. So and I don't do coaching or life coaching or business coaching in India. It's not a thing.
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Speaker 3
They don't do it. It's coming up now. But it wasn't coming up 20 years ago.
00;07;32;25 - 00;07;33;28
Speaker 2
It interesting.
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Speaker 3
You know, it's a frowned upon a career because you're not a doctor or a lawyer, an engineer. So if you're not a doctor or an engineer, then everything else is kind of like you're not really doing much with your life. And a lot of women, they go into fashion design, right? And they want to like design models and they go into that or a lot of women will go into commerce just to get a degree under their name, just so that they could be a housewife or go into tax or accounting.
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Speaker 3
Right.
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Speaker 2
But you really have bucked the tradition then.
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Speaker 3
I did.
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Speaker 2
Yeah. And I and I know and hopefully we talk a little bit about that because I know that you do some great stuff with teens. Yeah. And so that. And I'm glad you do. I'm glad I actually got you. But that that tradition.
00;08;17;04 - 00;08;36;04
Speaker 3
Yes. I mean I one of the reasons why I started working with teenagers because when I was 16 years old, I was molested by a family member. And this family member was a year and a half older than me. So it was basically my cousin and we happened to share the same grandmother. And so I didn't have a choice to share until I got into coaching.
00;08;36;04 - 00;08;58;22
Speaker 3
And as I was developing a coaching business, I really had to talk about my trauma and that trauma. I kept going back to the age of 16. I had a beautiful elementary school. I had a beautiful middle school experiment, three elementary schools, one middle school, two different high schools, and the change of the elementary schools brought a lot of mindset changes early, like later on in my life.
00;08;59;10 - 00;09;13;17
Speaker 3
Right. And I my in my middle school, I was bullied for giving hugs to my friends and I found out like five, six years later that all of my friends that I was hanging out with their parents had divorced. My parents were the only ones that were living together.
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Speaker 2
Interesting.
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Speaker 3
And so I guess hugging wasn't part of their family, which is hugging was a big part of our family.
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Speaker 2
Ooh, yeah.
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Speaker 3
And then I was bullied in high school sophomore year for giving compliments to women and young girls like my age group, and that labeled me as a lesbian.
00;09;33;08 - 00;09;39;20
Speaker 2
So you were encouraged in other other girls? Yeah, that was that that.
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Speaker 3
People that didn't not well. And so I ended up changing high schools because my grades were dropping and I just was like could not handle the environment any more. And my parents were like, you, you know, your school is just like not motivating you the way we want you to be motivated. Let's change you out. And I walked into his brand new high school at a different school district.
00;10;00;15 - 00;10;16;14
Speaker 3
It wasn't like an inner district. Trans was like out of the district transfer and I'm walking to that school with the mindset. I don't know anybody. Nobody knows me. The past doesn't define me. The present defines me. And I had that mindset at the age of 15 years old.
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Speaker 2
Wow.
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Speaker 3
Wow. And I just that I'm just going to roll with it, you know? And I did. And those friends that I made in when I was a junior and senior in high school have still been a big part of my life this year. Years later, you know, and like, it's just such a beautiful experience when you embrace the opportunity, accept the opportunity and make it your own.
00;10;41;14 - 00;10;59;03
Speaker 3
And I didn't go to I used to be like all my friends did. I went to Cal State, you know, like because that was the career that I wanted to choose. And through that, it was a lot of shame around, Oh, well, you're not as smart as our friends over here. You're not as smart as the kids over there.
00;10;59;16 - 00;11;16;05
Speaker 3
And I look at all of us that graduated from the U.S. then, you know, my my, I both went to a Cal State and I look at the things that we've done with our life. You know, a lot of them found a job months later after they graduate. I found a job on Monday. I walked on Sunday and I got a job on Monday.
00;11;16;24 - 00;11;29;00
Speaker 2
I, I believe that about you. Well, that's so that's interesting. That was because I don't you know, I live in California, obviously, and I don't think that way about the different colleges and universities. Was that was that a family thing?
00;11;29;21 - 00;11;50;22
Speaker 3
It was because everybody around me wasn't AP and honors and I had like a year of honors and I failed those honors classes. Right. I was just like, I was just an average kid. I was never an above average, never got a GPA over 3.0, like, barely passed high school, barely passed, call it, because for me it was just get the degree and get out of there.
00;11;50;22 - 00;12;08;16
Speaker 3
Like your life happens after the degree, you know, and as mean family. We focus on education a lot. And so I was just like, I was going to get a degree and then we'll see what happens. But then my corporate career went like in a spiral of its own, like it just kind of spun off in another spiral, right?
00;12;08;16 - 00;12;29;27
Speaker 3
Like my first job, my entire team disappears. Second job, I go through eight managers and eight months, third job. I get laid off for being too nice during training for job. I get laid off again because I just they can't afford me anymore. And then I joined the family business and then my dad sells the family business and I get laid off at the same time.
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Speaker 3
I coaching certification comes to an while.
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Speaker 2
Oh, and this happened within what you know, what was a span a few years.
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Speaker 3
2012 to 2018.
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Speaker 2
While.
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Speaker 3
2011 to 2018. So 2011 to 2018.
00;12;45;15 - 00;13;08;09
Speaker 2
That's a real trial by fire. But you know what? That's when you learn the most. And I, I want to go back to something you just said because I think it's really important today. Yeah. For people that are going to school, getting out of school and, you know, the you know, the the grades, getting the information I think is really important.
00;13;08;13 - 00;13;39;12
Speaker 2
I'm big on education. Huge on education, but that getting good grades or getting that the best the highest grades doesn't necessarily equate success in life. There's so many other factors. And so I think, you know, you've kind of tapped into this. How do you be well-rounded and getting the experience even the even that negative experience of getting laid off and I think you learn a lot about the business environment.
00;13;39;12 - 00;13;40;22
Speaker 2
You also learn a lot about yourself.
00;13;41;02 - 00;14;08;01
Speaker 3
Exactly. So when I was going through these experiences, immediate, my family thought, I'm at fault, I can hold out a job. It's I'm not smart enough. I'm not enough for this environment. But it wasn't until I took UCLA's Human resources management degree, like the extended education route, when I realized it's not me that's the problem. It's the company that I worked with and I chose was the problem.
00;14;08;04 - 00;14;26;11
Speaker 3
Yeah. And they had flags already laid out, you know. But I chose to avoid those flagged because I wasn't aware of them. And the only reason why I was in that company was because of the money. I was chasing the wrong thing. I was chasing money instead of the environment. Oh, boy. Chasing. I was chasing structure over the environment.
00;14;26;11 - 00;14;50;12
Speaker 3
Right. How many to. I don't like being your pajamas at 10:00 in the morning type scenario and navigating that. And then when I did work in the family business, my dad and I had the same personality. So when you have two strong personalities working together, it's like highs are high lows, our lows. And then we find the balance of navigating that and being in that.
00;14;50;12 - 00;15;17;17
Speaker 3
Being in the family business taught me that I can have a job more than a year, so yippee for that. I can learn about the various aspects and I could see the hustle that my parents put into the business. And at the same time there is entrepreneurship inside of me to then go out and do it. And so when I told my dad in 2015, I want to be a life coach, he's like, We're going to get your clients from and what are you going to do about it?
00;15;17;17 - 00;15;30;02
Speaker 3
And and then it wasn't until 2017 when I was coming out of the coursework, there was five classes coming out of the coursework where he is like, Oh, the world kind of needs your services now. You're kind of like the trailblazer.
00;15;30;19 - 00;15;31;06
Speaker 2
Right?
00;15;31;23 - 00;15;44;22
Speaker 3
And then I just think you have to go around us. Okay, Yeah, it's all around us now. Like mental health is like everything, you know, as they talk about it, you know, companies talk about like everybody's talking about mental health.
00;15;45;02 - 00;15;49;24
Speaker 2
Have you seen a big change in the last few years, especially with COVID?
00;15;50;07 - 00;16;14;16
Speaker 3
Oh, yeah, 100%. I mean, anxiety, depression, people are talking about it. They're not just like stuff in a down, right. Like they're really like feeling those. They're tapping into those feelings. And so and when I decided to take the certification course, my family was like, you really want to start a brand new job, And that's requiring you to travel for six weeks and start the coaching certification at the same time.
00;16;15;00 - 00;16;36;10
Speaker 3
And I'm like, Yes, I am and I will watch me. And that's coaching. Certification saved me because on October 30th I got laid off and on November 1st I hired a business coach and I hired 19 coaches in 2019 and in 2020 I basically became an author. I was on the cover of a local Indian magazine, and ABC did a press release on me.
00;16;36;10 - 00;16;39;23
Speaker 3
And then we know what happened. In March 2020, The world shut down.
00;16;40;03 - 00;17;10;17
Speaker 2
Yeah, I know. I know. I want to go back to the coach because I'm you know, we're coaches and we've hired coaches and I've had coaches for for athletics to, you know, to train me to do the Ironman competition that coaches for business speaking coaches and storytelling coaches and acting coaches. And I think it's really important for people to know that we all need, if we want to be the best we can be right?
00;17;10;17 - 00;17;29;17
Speaker 2
You know, we all need other people and we need to get outside of here and coaches can help you do that. So it's amazing that you had all of those coaches and then you had all those things just happen. Like they didn't just happen. They happened because, yeah, we prepared for it.
00;17;29;17 - 00;17;53;19
Speaker 3
I prepared for it. I had the mindset for and my family was furious. I mean, you talk about like, where is your money going and why are you hiring all these people and make the money, then spend the money. And I'm like, No, I'm going to spend the money that I'll make the money, you know? And this whole struggle just led me on my voice because I didn't know I had deep rooted trauma inside of me until I started working on myself.
00;17;54;10 - 00;18;09;13
Speaker 3
And I realized personal development is personal. It's like a tree. You never know what's beneath the tree at the roots level. You don't know how far those roots are. You don't know how thick those roots are. And you also don't know how big this tree's going to grow, what fruits it's going to bear.
00;18;09;13 - 00;18;40;20
Speaker 2
You know, I want to make I want to for the listeners, I want to point something out, personal development coaches or life coaches, they're in everything. So I know that I've had the experience of being hired to be a business coach. And it takes usually takes me about it sometimes to have this right away. But on the average about 15, 20 minutes, I get into the conversation with that person for whatever it is they hired me for, and I realize it's something is personal.
00;18;41;09 - 00;18;54;18
Speaker 2
Yeah, that's that's in their way. So there's a real blending those, those labels. There's a real blending of what coaching really is and not just my, you know, just my interpretation. But I love.
00;18;54;18 - 00;19;05;12
Speaker 3
That. And if anybody knows the iPhone three, when I first iPhone came out, it was like the iPhone three never announced it as an app for everybody. They remember that advertising. There's an app for everything.
00;19;06;05 - 00;19;08;12
Speaker 2
There's actually wasn't a lot of winners. It was.
00;19;08;23 - 00;19;25;13
Speaker 3
It was. And now there's a coach for everything. And I was the type of person that said, I don't want to sit here and waste my time because I'd heard the story over and over again. It wasn't until I hired a coach that my life started improving. It wasn't until I hired a mentor that my life got improving.
00;19;25;24 - 00;19;43;25
Speaker 3
And so I thought, if I'm going to do this the big way, the right way, I'm going to hire every single coach that I need in my life to enhance me and explode me into the rocket that I need to be. And I will watch the world unfold accordingly. And through that process, I became a TED speaker later on.
00;19;43;25 - 00;19;44;27
Speaker 3
Yahoo Finance And.
00;19;44;29 - 00;20;03;10
Speaker 2
That's really cool. Let's talk about that for a second. I mean, that's something amazing that not a lot of people, not a lot of speakers do. I mean, first of all, a lot not a lot of people speak and secondly, not a lot of speakers get to become a TEDx speaker. So what was that? What was that like?
00;20;04;03 - 00;20;25;28
Speaker 3
So I was working with teenagers at that time in 2019. It was something that came about where I had friends that was coaching women in the beginning, and then I was coaching teenagers because their parents were like, Do you ever coach? Teenagers are struggling? And so in 2019 I go to my old middle school and I see how many of you have evil voices inside of your head.
00;20;26;25 - 00;20;37;10
Speaker 3
I was in front of 100 kids that day. Every single hand went up, really? And I immediately thought I have to do something about it. I'm going to ditch the women coaching and I create a brand new program just for teenagers.
00;20;37;22 - 00;20;57;12
Speaker 2
We back up second because if there's and for those of you who are watching and not listening, there is a there's a generational difference between Michelle and I. You know, there's just by, you know, a few Xs here, but what fascinates me by what you just said is every single hand went up and this was in public.
00;20;58;01 - 00;21;00;12
Speaker 3
And public ages of 11 to 14.
00;21;00;19 - 00;21;19;13
Speaker 2
You would not have you would not have seen that in the days when I was growing up, because people didn't talk about that stuff. They just kept inside. And so I think that's a really healthy change that's happened today and I applaud it. It's great. So you had all these hands that went up and then what did you do?
00;21;19;26 - 00;21;38;13
Speaker 3
I asked a follow up question. What are these voices telling you? And there was this were I'm not good enough, I'm not smart enough, I'm overweight, I'm an idiot, I'm not loved enough. And I look at the room, you know, there's teachers in the room as well, Right? And I look at me and I look down, I look at the kids.
00;21;39;00 - 00;21;55;00
Speaker 3
I'm like, if I don't speak up for these kids, no one else will because the adult in the room are in their late thirties, 40, 50, them 60, they've forgotten. What's it like to be a teenager? They're forgotten about puberty. They like they know what that is concept, but they don't know what it's like growing up inside. And I don't.
00;21;55;00 - 00;22;13;06
Speaker 3
I'm not married. I don't have kids, you know, I'm single. I still remember my teenage years like they were yesterday because I don't have enough stuff, you know, right on top of it. Right, Right. So I made that change. And in 2020, I lost my clients. Like, basically all my clients said, Hey, we're in lockdown. I don't know what to do.
00;22;13;15 - 00;22;27;27
Speaker 3
So that I lost all my clients and I applied to be you know, I applied with a food organizer, then FedEx. And that door opened. So in my life, when one door closes, another one opens. Yeah, really fairly close enough, you know.
00;22;28;10 - 00;22;37;15
Speaker 2
Totally. It totally happens If you are aware of it, it it happens for everybody. Yeah. Sometimes the door doesn't open right away, but it'll open.
00;22;38;09 - 00;22;58;26
Speaker 3
So I had one conversation with the organizer and I got accepted, which is unheard of, because now if you guys want to apply for a TED talk, you have to do a 92nd to a two minute video. You have to have your whole script design, you have to have somebody nominate you to be a speaker. You then have to submit an application.
00;22;59;05 - 00;23;02;19
Speaker 3
I basically hopped on a Zoom call, had one conversation. I was done.
00;23;03;22 - 00;23;04;07
Speaker 2
Amazing.
00;23;05;06 - 00;23;06;10
Speaker 3
And so I became like.
00;23;06;10 - 00;23;16;14
Speaker 2
Because that's also because you're good and I've seen you speak. So I, I, you know, when I see folks and by the way, is your TEDx talk available for people to watch?
00;23;16;20 - 00;23;23;04
Speaker 3
It is. And I'll send you the link. It's on YouTube. Just type in my first and last name and do Ted X and then the video will pop up.
00;23;23;14 - 00;23;38;07
Speaker 2
Okay, We'll also put it. We'll also put the information in in the show notes too. So yeah, but if you watch Michelle, you see the emotion and everything that she has come out of her into the speech and it's just amazing. So they probably saw that in Zoom.
00;23;39;05 - 00;23;56;19
Speaker 3
They did. It was a virtual conference. They know it was a virtual conference. I presented virtually my I would call it my interview was over Zoom. And so, you know, I just said, hey, you know, I just want to my goal is to be a TED speak. I don't care what the hell I talk about. Just give me something to talk about.
00;23;56;19 - 00;24;14;07
Speaker 3
I'll talk about it. Right. And I really want to help teenagers because they're struggling. You know, they're the ones that get the bad rap. We we as adults give them a bad rep. Their troublemakers, their A knowing. They talk back. They don't respect us. But have you figured out why is because no one's asking them what they want.
00;24;14;22 - 00;24;38;17
Speaker 3
No one's asking them what they want to achieve. No one's giving that belief system to achieve that. No one's giving them the positive self-talk that they need to survive. You know, you Basham Right. As adults, we back this whole group of kids that are basically our future, right? And so I've created a whole system, part of my coaching program, to really focus on number one, what is it that you want?
00;24;39;14 - 00;24;55;00
Speaker 3
Number two, what is it that you want to achieve? And do you have the proper belief system to achieve that? And then number three, what is the self-talk you need to have so that you can overcome the obstacles and then achieve your big audacious goal? Right. And I have that in place.
00;24;55;10 - 00;25;12;03
Speaker 2
So I you know, you and I talk, you know, I love steps. I love steps to, you know, to everything in a process that people can follow. So that's a it sounds like a very simple three step process. But I've got there's a lot of me, you know, in each of those steps.
00;25;12;06 - 00;25;31;21
Speaker 3
Oh, there is because we talk about values, we talk about core values, we talk about family values, we talk about boundary setting. We talk about goal setting, right? We talk about what are you committed to? Because when you say yes to something, you're saying no to something else. All right, Rich, you and I both have a job. Job right now.
00;25;31;21 - 00;25;47;17
Speaker 3
We're saying yes to showing up on the podcast, connecting with each other, and we're saying no to our job. Job. Right. Both of these are equally important. But right now we're choosing to show up on a podcast. Have I often converse Asian and then we'll worry about the job job later?
00;25;48;07 - 00;26;23;23
Speaker 2
Yeah. You know, in today's world it's amazing. In today's world those boundaries of of time boundaries have changed so much because I think people are actually a lot more productive when they're not constrained by it during this period of time. I am I'm chained to this thing. And I've also found for myself and I've taught many of the people that I work with, especially after COVID happened when they found this flexibility and they actually found it, they became if they had the right processes in place and the right discipline in place, they became more productive because they took more breaks.
00;26;23;23 - 00;26;44;16
Speaker 2
But when they came back, they were more productive and more focused. And so I think that's a really positive change that's happened. But the the the fact that you are going through this process with teams, because I certainly don't remember anybody going through this process with me when I was young. And I would I'm listening to what you're talking about here.
00;26;44;16 - 00;26;54;23
Speaker 2
I'm thinking there's a lot of adults that need that. Forget the teens. There's a lot of us that need that kind of structure as well. Do you do you work exclusively with teens or do you work with adults, too?
00;26;54;29 - 00;27;01;27
Speaker 3
I work with adults and teenagers. And so if if a teen usually you know, obviously, we all know that the parents have the money. Right. Let's be.
00;27;02;01 - 00;27;02;11
Speaker 2
Right.
00;27;02;11 - 00;27;27;15
Speaker 3
Well, yeah, right. If the teens had the money would be child labor, which I personally don't support. Right? I don't. I think kids should be kids. Right. So what happened to the parents by me? We then talk about the child, but then I what I do as part of my program is I offer bonus sessions to the parents where they get an hour a month with me and we talk about it a their personal what are they going through personally or B, to review their child's progress.
00;27;28;00 - 00;27;48;02
Speaker 3
Right. And bring the parents into the mix because it's a unit that we're creating. What's a unit that where you are transforming? And if I'm playing that kid, yeah, don't be a doctor. But I home the parents like you have to be a doctor. The kid's conflicted, right? To avoid the conflict in the mine. I support them in sharing like, Hey, this is the track that we are deciding on.
00;27;48;12 - 00;27;55;14
Speaker 3
What are your thoughts? Are we on the right page? Because the PR we can amplify it. If we're not, then that's course correct and really figure out what's really needed.
00;27;56;04 - 00;28;12;15
Speaker 2
Define your Do you finally talk to these parents that that many times, you know, I heard I heard many times the sort of the the path that they're sending their kids on is their path and other kids path. Yes, it is the light turn on their parents heads.
00;28;13;14 - 00;28;22;15
Speaker 3
Yeah. I mean, a lot of I mean, I have a lot of friends that are in their thirties, forties and fifties that are like, you know, I'm only in this career because my parents told me to be in it. I really didn't want to be in it.
00;28;22;26 - 00;28;52;20
Speaker 2
So it's just and you know and I'm a from 87% British Isles so it's just interesting isn't hearing the cultural things that you're talking about as an Indian woman. Yeah, the culture that I'm in, you know, the culture that I came from has a lot of those constraints as well. It does. So you find yourself following what you're your parents, your family, your friends expect you to do.
00;28;53;01 - 00;28;53;12
Speaker 3
Right.
00;28;53;20 - 00;28;56;02
Speaker 2
As opposed to what you might really want to do.
00;28;56;13 - 00;29;12;19
Speaker 3
And that's exactly what happened. I am 33 years old, right? I'm still living at my parents house. Right. It's not like I can't afford California rent. That's not the problem. The problem is I just like to be at home with them. I did move out. I moved back in just because it's, you know, community purpose, right. To feel part of something.
00;29;13;02 - 00;29;35;04
Speaker 3
And my parents are like, well, you should be in corporate America. Your capabilities. It's like making six figures, doing like the things like in a management position, this coaching thing, you could do it when you're married, you could do it when you have your kid, you could do it on the side. And I look at women that I used to coach prior to my teenager world was the women would take care of the spouse.
00;29;35;13 - 00;29;59;17
Speaker 3
The kids work, whatever, whatever, whatever. It's 11:00 at night now. She wants to take time for herself. She's exhausted. And so I used to coach these women on self-care, self-love, self time. More importantly, take care of yourself in the beginning of the day. Don't worry about your spouse. Don't worry about the kids. First take, you know, take 5 minutes for your own self and do that because come tomorrow, 11:00 is going to happen again.
00;29;59;25 - 00;30;18;17
Speaker 3
Come the next day, alarm clock is going to happening and you're depleted and now your goals are going down the drain. Your personal life is going down the drain, and now you're just operating from burnout, right? And teaching women that. I always I didn't embracing that. And so I was like, if I'm going to build a brand new business, I'd rather do it when I'm single.
00;30;18;25 - 00;30;34;19
Speaker 3
I'd rather do it at the comforts of my parents home, right where I can just poor, poor, poor time, energy, money, and then let the let the food chain do its work when the time comes. All right. And it's a very un-American way of doing it. So Michelle's way of doing it, I think.
00;30;35;21 - 00;30;58;29
Speaker 2
It's unAmerican any more. You know, it's interesting because I've had lots of conversations with with people lately about the jobs. You know, you just talked about corporate America and and going to even go to university and getting a college education as the expectations. It's changed a lot since I went to university. And you got that degree and you were made right?
00;30;59;11 - 00;31;34;03
Speaker 2
There were there were ten jobs waiting for you. And that's not the case anymore. Number one. And number two, going back to what you said about where the real learning came in, which is getting out of school and getting into life and actually experience in it. And this this whole issue about corporate America and making six figures, you make six figures, as we know, but you can make six figures as a as a coach, you can make six figures as a plumber or an electrician or, you know, all sorts of different things that there are to do out there that people don't even think about you.
00;31;34;06 - 00;31;51;00
Speaker 3
So think about and, you know, I always my dad always told me one thing, do the right thing. Money is going to follow you no matter what. Right. Get the wrong thing. Money's going to like come in and out of you, right to do the right thing, follow your heart, follow your passion. And money's going to come to you.
00;31;51;00 - 00;32;02;05
Speaker 3
Like have fun with the money that you're earning. And my sister and I have both taken an untraditional role. She's a Reiki level three practitioner focusing on energy healing. I'm like on the life.
00;32;02;05 - 00;32;03;18
Speaker 2
Who's the older, a younger sister.
00;32;03;26 - 00;32;04;23
Speaker 3
My younger sister.
00;32;04;23 - 00;32;10;10
Speaker 2
She's a you like, blazed the trail and now your younger sister is like stepping outside of the bounds.
00;32;10;10 - 00;32;10;23
Speaker 3
Yes.
00;32;11;05 - 00;32;12;27
Speaker 2
Wow, that's cool.
00;32;12;27 - 00;32;32;13
Speaker 3
And my parents think they feel that's parents, right? They really think they failed as parents. They're just like, oh, my God, these kids are not in corporate America working in Apple. They're like doing their own, like, energy stuff, which I don't know if it's going to make money or not because they didn't grow up with that, right? They didn't grow up with that innate ability.
00;32;32;13 - 00;32;52;03
Speaker 3
Our intuition of this is our sole purpose. They don't have a sole purpose because it's what was whatever their parents told them to do is what navigated them right. And so they were like blindly following other people's expectations versus asking themselves, Wait a minute, what is it that I want? Right. And the intention behind it.
00;32;52;03 - 00;33;15;24
Speaker 2
There's such a good message there, Michel, that chasing after money. I mean, there's an old saying money can't buy happiness, but it does a pretty darn good down payment. But but, but if that's the sole reason that you're doing something or you think that you're doing it to make money, even if you got it and you're not happy, geez, what's the money worth?
00;33;16;09 - 00;33;40;25
Speaker 3
Exactly. And I've never been the happiest. And November 1st, 2018, like the bells of freedom, are literally ringing. When I made the decision of I'm not going back to corporate, and if I do ever go back and get a job, job, it's going to be on my terms, my hours, like my everything revolve around me, basically, right? So that I could do the things I really love to do.
00;33;41;08 - 00;33;41;18
Speaker 3
Right.
00;33;41;18 - 00;34;00;12
Speaker 2
And by the way, for the listeners here, we're not doing in corporate. I mean, if you got a corporate job, great. It what we're really talking about is a mindset, you know, and knowing who you are and what you want to do so you can be happy in a corporate job as well. You can actually be entrepreneur entrepreneurial in a corporate job as well.
00;34;00;21 - 00;34;06;26
Speaker 2
Maybe you've got a few more constraints that you would then you would if you had your own business. But those things are possible, folks.
00;34;08;08 - 00;34;27;24
Speaker 3
Yeah, and at at the end of the day, it's where you thrive. And I personally, after my third layoff, I was like, This is a save in the universe. You do not belong in like corporate America. Job because you're just going to be unhappy, right? Had I not gotten the layoff, had I not gotten a team fired or had I not been in that situation, my life would have been different.
00;34;28;10 - 00;34;34;20
Speaker 3
But these doors, I kept getting closed in my face. I needed to course correct what.
00;34;35;21 - 00;34;39;00
Speaker 2
It if you had a huge course correction during during COVID.
00;34;39;23 - 00;34;40;06
Speaker 3
Oh yeah.
00;34;40;14 - 00;34;42;03
Speaker 2
So where is it? Where do you see it going now?
00;34;43;02 - 00;35;11;11
Speaker 3
I feel like, you know, I just have I'm working on my eighth book. I have seven solo or seven collaborative books under my name. I just published my solo book in the summer of this year. It's called Friday, The New Monday. And I'll say on the link, it's available on Amazon and so now I'm in charge of helping women use their voices to enhance their messaging, because every human has, whether you're a man or a woman or an in between, has a purpose on this planet.
00;35;11;24 - 00;35;41;01
Speaker 3
And I've learned that through storytelling, you can inspire so many people. And one of my big message that I have been living for 2022 is confidence and vulnerability will give you the best life that you want because confidence gives either vulnerability to show up whether you're in a hot mess, anxiety, depression, suicide ideation, you show up, you wear that conference cap, you show up with your emotions, and then you get to create the life that you desire.
00;35;41;12 - 00;35;45;14
Speaker 2
Confidence keep. I just caught on to that. What's the confidence game.
00;35;46;02 - 00;35;50;25
Speaker 3
You just where it can't make you just say, you know what, I'm going to be confident today and I'm going to show up.
00;35;51;22 - 00;35;53;05
Speaker 2
Ready to put on you.
00;35;53;05 - 00;36;13;12
Speaker 3
Just kind of put on like an invisible cloak. I mean, I could not get up this morning to start I could not get up this morning. I was like mentally exhausted. All right. I got in the shower. I come out of the shower, put my makeup on. I got ready for our show, and you would have never known that.
00;36;13;25 - 00;36;16;22
Speaker 3
About an hour ago. I did not want to get up in the morning.
00;36;16;22 - 00;36;21;00
Speaker 2
Wow. Well, a, you must be wearing that invisible confidence.
00;36;21;15 - 00;36;40;02
Speaker 3
I was. I was. Because I just had to do it for I was I'm just going to show up. It's I'm showing up for my friend. I'm showing it for me. But if I'm down in the dumps, it's not going to make a difference. I have to show up ready to go. And so I quickly shower. I got my day going and I'm like, as I'm putting my makeup, I'm like, I got this, I got this.
00;36;40;02 - 00;36;45;05
Speaker 3
I'm going to do this. I'm going to show up. And I did. And here we are.
00;36;45;05 - 00;37;10;20
Speaker 2
And we are. And it's it has been so fascinating. I got to tell you, Michel, I think you are a woman that is wise beyond her years. I mean, just listening to the things that you've gone through in in business and personally with just some horrific things, which we didn't delve into. But, you know, folks, we I know everybody caught that in the beginning of our conversation.
00;37;11;19 - 00;37;26;25
Speaker 2
And in all of the things that you sort of dealt with and here you are today using all of those experiences to help other people, other young people, not make the same mistakes that so many of us have made in life. And kind of just think it's it's wonderful.
00;37;28;25 - 00;37;47;14
Speaker 2
So I imagine that there you're in big demand. And I know as a speaker you probably do a lot of that. But if somebody who's listening here wants to maybe contact to speak at their organization or their school, how do they do that?
00;37;48;01 - 00;37;56;18
Speaker 3
Despite me on my website, everything is available on my website. My website is Michelle dot com and that is MDH to dot com.
00;37;57;01 - 00;37;58;08
Speaker 2
So okay.
00;37;58;12 - 00;38;15;02
Speaker 3
Yeah. So you get to have that and you know at as all the listeners today I'm giving you a gift of my time as well you have a note about your teen success guide which is also available on your on my website. So it's like ten success secret.
00;38;15;12 - 00;38;23;25
Speaker 2
Back up you're just you just like dropped this this big gift, this big egg here. Is this a there's a motivate your teen.
00;38;24;20 - 00;38;26;20
Speaker 3
Success guy that's available on my website.
00;38;27;22 - 00;38;30;07
Speaker 2
You're giving a gift of your time.
00;38;30;14 - 00;38;49;21
Speaker 3
Yes I'm giving you a gift of my time. So I will offer our strategy session for anybody that wants to just talk about how to break through their own confidence issues. Right. So I'm giving 30 minutes of my time to every listener that's on this call, and the link will be in the link in the the link will be available to you.
00;38;49;21 - 00;38;51;11
Speaker 3
Rich. Nikki, Post it. I will.
00;38;52;07 - 00;38;52;17
Speaker 2
Yeah. That's.
00;38;52;19 - 00;39;10;17
Speaker 3
And yeah, the link to my TEDx talk will be there as well. So like basically I am Google Apple. I found that out last week. My cousin were like, Oh, I wonder if we can find each other on Google. So now if you type in my person last name, you'll find pictures of me on Google, you'll find links about me on Google.
00;39;10;17 - 00;39;14;11
Speaker 3
So I am Google able officially now.
00;39;14;15 - 00;39;38;07
Speaker 2
We'll make it, we'll make it easy. We'll put everything in the notes and and that's a very generous offer and I help folks have Michelle is absolutely fantastic. I hope if you want to talk about confidence or any other those types of issues or or something that you're trying to breakthrough, definitely take advantage of that. And again, I'll have that in the notes section.
00;39;38;26 - 00;40;06;27
Speaker 2
Now, Michelle, we're coming towards the end here. And, you know, I always ask this question, is it the funnest part for me? Because, you know, I think everybody needs a code to to direct themselves in life. I know that I have, you know, certain things that I do. I have a certain process and I have a code to win in life and in business, no matter what happens, you know, and and I'm a big I'm a big believer in that.
00;40;06;27 - 00;40;21;27
Speaker 2
So I'd love it if you would share with our listeners what your code is or your credo or process or whatever you call it, and to just, you know, break through, get around the hurdles and live a happy life.
00;40;23;13 - 00;40;37;02
Speaker 3
I going to say it again, I said it a little bit before is confidence and vulnerability will give you the courage you need to make that best decision. Confidence plus vulnerability will give you the courage you need to make that best decision.
00;40;37;02 - 00;40;54;10
Speaker 2
That is, until unbelievably so. I like the vulnerability part because you sort of have been vulnerable here and shared some stuff and so. All right. Michelle Maida, that was that was pretty cool, pretty easy.
00;40;54;11 - 00;41;18;06
Speaker 3
And I had to do a drop. I have to do a drop. I don't know if you guys know this or not, but Rich Green and I were writing a book together with a four time Olympian Ruben Gonzalez, called Driven to Courage. If you have not picked up a copy of that book, you guys are missing out because Rich and I share stories about what got us to courage, what got us to show up, the way we show up.
00;41;18;06 - 00;41;25;25
Speaker 3
So grab this book and it's a beautiful book that is well written and such a pleasure to coauthor this with you.
00;41;25;25 - 00;41;44;21
Speaker 2
Yeah, I when you were talking about your books, I was thinking about that. So I'm glad you. That was good. That was I don't mind that kind of a commercial. Drop it all. That was great. It was a lot of fun. And yeah, folks, there's Michelle and I are in it. Ruben Gonzalez, Matt Ryan and a whole bunch of people that I think are pretty neat stories.
00;41;45;09 - 00;41;59;05
Speaker 2
Some of them have been on my show and so we are definitely encourage you to pick that up again. Michelle Mader thanks so much for joining us, folks. Until next time, no, you come.
00;41;59;05 - 00;42;19;19
Speaker 1
All right. Thanks for listening to the Iron Mind Code show with Rich Green. Make sure to visit our Web site. Join us next time for another edition of the Iron Mine Code Show.
